i already hear my dad disowning me
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
