He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
