I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
