I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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