I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
