I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
