I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
