party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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