Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
