I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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