She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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