bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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