Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
