i barfeds in our rink
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
