So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
