would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
