Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
