white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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