just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
