Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
