she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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