What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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