for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
