fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
