girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
