I just cut my nipple shaving
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
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