Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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