if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
