so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Randomize
