I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
