ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
