If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
