no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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