Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
