You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
