I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
