He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
