Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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