worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
