My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
