You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
