haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
