Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Randomize
