why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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