Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You need a sexual gate keeper
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
