is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
