six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
