Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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