my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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