We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
