I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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